Saturday, October 6, 2012

Chapter 3 - Six months later


The promise Bob made to Alma six months ago is now an amazing reality. Such a big win can make you lose your head, sometimes. But that can’t happen to Bob who has won back his own dignity swearing to himself that with that fortune not only can he start searching for his son again, but he can also help others that, like himself, a part of their lives has been stolen of by some sick mind who ruins someone else’s happiness for malice or pure madness.
Two months ago he bought an office with four rooms with a view of the Empire State Building. That imposing building reminds him of the last hours spent with his son twenty years ago. The kid overstressed him with the request to be taken to the top of that giant that fascinated him so much in the film. – Dad, take me to King Kong. Pleaaaase! – he went on never growing tired of repeating that. – Come on dad, please take me there! – In the end Bob gave up and once at the top, watching that unreal scenario the kid said – Dad, when I grow up I will save King Kong and his fiancĂ© so they will live happily ever after. – All right -, Bob replied giving a tender faint smile. They took some pictures and one, with them together, shot by a Japanese tourist they asked the favor of. A photographic enlargement stands lonely at his back in front of the desk where he receives his clients. – I will find you – is clearly written on it. This is the message of hope for himself and for all the people asking for his help.
People search for him and want him because they know they will be totally understood in their drama. His good example encourages even the most desperate to never give up and to start hoping again.
He decides not to ask for money because he doesn’t want inequalities between rich and poor people. He accepts offers, but only if he solves the case. Every day he receives tons of emails and letters of requests. He reads and carefully examines all of them and when he sees even a frail hope, no matter if the disappearance happened many years ago, he accepts it. He works simultaneously on hard and relatively easier cases.
He spends more time in the office than at home. He has chosen a very bright room for himself, with most of the walls made of glass. The windows can’t be opened but a great air conditioning system makes the stay pleasant.
The wall with the big photo in it is brown. His desk is made of a tabletop of black crystal not totally opaque which stands on a steel structure. The chair is black, in synthetic leather, that too with a steel structure.
Few things on his desktop: a silver-grey laptop, a penholder, a notebook, a white lacquered wooden dice 10x10 cm with rounded corners hand made by an artisan on each side of which the six winning numbers of the lottery have been carved. And…. the box, the object that changed his life but that he hasn’t wanted to open anymore since the lucky event. But he is never seperated from it, he takes it everywhere so that when he bought the bag for the laptop he chose a model suitable for putting the box in it too.
Bob is reading some news on the laptop when gets a phone call. It’s Alma Dulce.

     “Bob, a homeless guy was found near to death in a suburban area. It seems he has been away for some days. He has now been taken to the hospital. It seems another homeless is missing, reach me here”.

(Editor’s note: I know I should go deep in the describing of the environments indicating the names of places and streets but I’ll do it in the second draft. Now I’m giving priority to the story so that you can evaluate the content.)

     “I’m on the way” – Bob replies. He takes note of the address on his smartphone, he stands up, takes the bag, puts the box inside it, takes the jacket and leaves. When he arrives at the car he enters quickly, he starts the engine and sets off.

Bob is a tough cookie but today he feels nervous. It’s his first case in collaboration with the Police since he abandoned his job twenty years ago. His ex-boss has seen the excellent results he is having with his private cases and the high consideration Alma Dulce has for him, decides to give him a chance by involving him in the cases of missing people and wants Alma Dulce as his partner. She already knows Bob very well and can supervise and evaluate his psychological situation and so his attitude to go on or quit this cooperation.

When Bob reaches Alma she is already taking notes from the homeless people.

When he exits the car, in that environment so familiar to him (even if that wasn’t his old home), he feels tense. Looking around searching for Alma Dulce the first impact is painful. Thousands of images of his past life run through his mind, how many memories? But he takes a deep breath and goes towards Alma who he has seen not so far. She is talking with a man who is looking more sober than the others and he is telling her there’s another of them who has been missing for some days. He comments that it’s common enough for them to take “a vacation”, or so he calls it, in another place, sometimes; for a woman for example. But usually they turn back, he explains.


(Editor’s note:
if I was making a pilot and I was starting the episode from this chapter. I, as the audience, I was unaware of the story of the genius, the win, etc.. I was meeting the protagonist by the camera starting showing me a not so slow – I hate slowness, I love action! – complete view of the office dwelling upon some details zooming toward the desktop starting from the dice, sliding on the box and then stopping on Bob, that we see behind the laptop screen while reading. The camera zooms back showing the giant photo on the wall previously described. The phone rings, he takes the call and talks with Alma Dulce. He hangs up and before leaving he takes the bag, then the black box. He keeps it in his hands for some seconds clasping his fingers on the box and closing his eyes as to take strength from it and then puts it into the bag.
In fact, if I was the audience I would ask myself the reason for that gesture. What does the box represent for the protagonist? It is ancient, amidst the modern furniture. Is it a family jewel? Something that belonged to a loved one now deceased? Could someone think of a Genius? Possibly not, if I change the title, lol!)

2 comments:

  1. I hope you realize that once you get us hooked, you _must_ finish the story! :-P
    Your english is coming along well, Cristina!

    I'm jealous that you can write in more than one language. ;}

    Take care, sweetie. Big hugs.
    xoxo
    ---NeuralGear

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  2. Yes dear, I'll do it :)

    My teacher says I'm doing better but the one you are reading was revised by him. I still have a lot to work on my English and on my writing, as well :)

    Don't be jealous ^__^ I could start writing in Spanish too, lol. It's easier for me being Italian.

    Thanks for your nice words :)

    xoxo

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